The Letter
by dooski
Summary: An unaddressed letter is found in Terminal City with a story behind it. But maybe the real love story is hidden within someone's heart and not just in a letter...
1. Confessions of an Unknown Heart

**disclaimer: **I don't own Dark Angel, the characters, or even the idea! This was a challenge from **CandyCentric** over at the **nuns**

* * *

**THE LOVE LETTER**

Very simple challenge. An unsigned, unadressed love letter is found in the middle of TC. No one seems to know anything about it, and everyone starts gossiping about different ideas of where it came from and who it was written for. Did the person who it was written for ever read it before it was found? Did they even know the letter was meant for them? Or was this letter even written recently?

* * *

**setting: **Terminal City, after Love Among the Runes, but no plot development of those random tattoos!  
**pairing: **if you know my writing, you don't have to ask! If you don't... well, you'll see the direction it's going!

* * *

**Chapter 1: Confessions of an Unknown Heart**

His daydreaming broke with the sound of a hand slapping onto the table in front of his face, the sudden force creating a short-lived breeze that struck his face, calling his attention.

Alec lifted his head cautiously, his green eyes raising to meet the serious set of brown held in front of him.

"Max," he greeted nonchalantly, as though her dramatic entrance hadn't affected him in the slightest.

His stare fell again to her hand that was firmly planted on the table in front of him, and that was when he noticed a single piece of paper that looked rather crumpled resting underneath her flat hand.

"We need to talk," she said finally to him, not bothering to return his greeting.

"Aren't we talking now?" Alec asked smartly, which probably wasn't the most appropriate approach. It was at the very least unwelcome, given that Max responded by challenging him with one of her classic death-glares.

"This is serious!" she stated.

Alec sighed inwardly. _Isn't it always with her! _He never saw her more tense than when she was around him, a façade that he was always trying to crack. He'd seen her more carefree before, but whenever those rare moments occurred, he was forbidden to mention them ever again, for fear that she would be told to her face that he could see right through her 'tough chick' act.

"I'm all ears," Alec offered, his lips pressed together in a thin line lacking of any real expression that he normally offered, which was a cocky grin, to be specific.

"Heard anything going around lately?" Max asked him.

At this, Alec's brow furrowed in confusion. As usual, he couldn't guess where she was headed with her questioning.

"Any _rumors_?" Max elaborated to clarify herself.

Understanding more of what she was asking sent a grin flashing across Alec's face out of amusement. He'd been expecting her to tell him that a raid went wrong, or that supplies were running short. Maybe even that morale was down. But asking about petty gossip? He'd have to tease her about this. "Well, I _did_ hear something about a leader so set on her warpath that she started freaking out over gossip in addition to her other usual overreactions."

Max frowned at him, shaking her head in disappointment. "You're worthless. The least you could do while you're ignoring your duties is stay in the know."

Alec laughed. "I was kidding, Max. Calm down. Give me a minute to think. These things are usually in one ear, out the other."

Max frowned again, but did hold her tongue so the silence would encourage him recalling anything he might have heard recently.

"I think a couple of the X5s have been sneaking out at night to gamble," he admitted to her.

Max's eyes widened in shock and a burning fury. "What?!" she asked, completely taken aback. "Why is this the first time you've shared this with me?"

Alec shrugged. "I don't like to share," he joked.

"Alec!"

"What? I was gonna check it out myself. I didn't think it was something to bother you with."

Her glare softened, but she still looked disappointed. "You've got one day to take care of the situation. Then we'll do it _my _way," she told him decisively.

Alec considered doing nothing, only because he knew Max's way would provide him with more amusement. But he was in a good mood, and so feeling more generous than usual, and he didn't feel the need to offer Max's personally delivered punishment for breaking one of her rules onto the poor transgenics.

"I'll handle it," he accepted. With that, he stood up to leave the office.

"Wait!" Max protested, lifting the hand that was on the table to hold onto his arm in a request for him to stay.

Alec was surprised by the gesture. For a brief moment, he considered whether something serious was going on, before his eyes registered the shock in hers at the realization that she'd just latched onto his arm so affectionately.

Max quickly released her grip, but her stare didn't falter. "That's not why I stopped by."

"What else?" Alec asked her.

"This," Max told him, handing him the piece of paper.

Alec's eyes roamed over the document before his lips parted out of shock. It was a letter. And not just any, it was a love letter.

"So, you really haven't heard a thing about this letter? It's spreading like wildfire, and I can't believe that we actually have to address this."

Alec looked confused again. "What's the big deal? It's just some sappy love poem. Nothing to get a city ablaze over."

Max nodded in agreement. "That's what I thought! But everyone must be bored out of their minds, because for whatever reason, _this _is causing disruptions like you wouldn't believe."

Alec almost laughed at the information. It seemed more than ridiculous. "What's to be distracted over? It's a letter." Alec said it as though the document was the most uninteresting piece of information he'd ever come across.

"Did you even read it?" Max asked him.

Alec continued to be amused by her serious take on the whole thing. "Let's see… oh, here's a golden one: '**Thoughts of you caress my mind in the day, Fantasies flowing that my heart can't say'.**" He couldn't hold his laughter any longer. "Great stuff, Max. I can see how this would grab your heart and send someone into mischief."

Max frowned. "Don't be such a smart-aleck. It's not as stupid as you make it seem. Actually, it's kind of…romantic." She finished quietly, her voice full of conviction, and a warm glow of pink coming to her cheeks.

Apparently, she wasn't comfortable being so open with Alec about her idea of 'romantic'. Well, it certainly wasn't one of those "Queen Bitch" traits she liked to portray as their CO.

Alec's eyes now were wide with surprise. "Max," he said seriously, "I'm still not seeing how this is a problem." After a pause, he came up with his solution. "Burn it."

Max's eyes flared with anger. "What?! You're kidding, right? There's no way I'm burning this. At least, not until I figure out who it's from and who it's meant for."

Alec was visibly bothered by her determination over something so trivial; he couldn't hide how ridiculous he considered any deep contemplation about the worthless scrap of paper. "Max, what the heck does it matter? Just be rid of the thing and move on!"

Max folded her arms at him with these words. "Oh, so you're telling me you're not affected in the slightest?"

Alec almost laughed at the question before he realized that she was serious. _She's not kidding! _he thought in complete shock. She was really asking a genetically engineered killing machine if he was 'affected' by someone's love ramblings. He considered a sarcastic reply, something along the lines of 'oh, sure, Max. I'm holding back tears here. Got a tissue?'

But he had enough sense to hold his tongue. At this point, she probably wouldn't hesitate to punch him at such a remark.

Alec shrugged innocently and decided to go for the blunt answer instead of the mocking one. "I've seen better romance in the cheesy dialogue on 'Days of Our Lives' and all those other cheesy soap operas," he defended his position against the lame verses.

Max snorted at this comment. "Is that what you do in your spare time, Alec? 'Days of Our Lives'?"

Alec rolled his eyes, knowing not to bother defending himself by explaining that he was just using an example to emphasize his point. She wouldn't listen, anyway.

Instead, he brushed off her teasing with more brutal honesty. "I'm usually too busy dealing with the real world. My opinion? This letter isn't real. Some talentless writer's attempt to get attention. Everyone'll be over this in the morning."

Max was unmoved by his quick assessment. "I don't think you're thinking it through enough, Alec. This letter is from an unknown source, to an unknown receiver. What if there are more like this? And I haven't even brought up the ghost yet."

Alec couldn't contain his comments any longer at this new addition to her concerns. "Woah, hold on," he interrupted her, holding up his hand in protest. "A _ghost_? You believe in that stuff?"

"Of course not," Max dismissed the question immediately. "But people are talking… It's causing groups to go out at night, and its dangerous." Her expression then looked as though a light bulb had clicked on in her mind. "Maybe that's where those X5s are really going- to see and help the ghost. Are you _sure _that gambling is what's driving them into breaking the rules?"

Alec opened his mouth to argue, not only to point out that there were many more reasons to break her overbearing rules other than simple gambling, and also to tell her that the existence of a ghost was a physical impossibility.

But the words died on his lips, and he stopped mid-gape as he realized that he didn't know for certain why the group was wandering around after hours. "Well… there's plenty of reasons to go out," he began. "Why not gambling? I saw them packin' a big wad of cash. Are you suggesting that the _ghostie_ handed it to them?" he finished by teasing her.

Max gave him a short glare before continuing. "What I'm suggesting is that they're on a manhunt, or ghosthunt, to be more specific. It's foolish and unsafe. And more importantly, it's a blatant disregard for the rules. At first it wasn't a big deal to me, but more and more reports are coming in of way too much activity going on at night."

"So what's your solution?" Alec asked.

"Figure out the letter. Disprove the ghost theory. And then get everything back to normal."

"Why don't we just give them extra chores for breaking the rules? Or here's a fun idea -give them something else to preoccupy their wandering minds," Alec suggested.

"Like what?" Max snapped, a bit miffed that he didn't support her idea. She didn't want to admit it to him, but a part of her was rather intrigued by the letter and the idea behind it. Her curious mind wanted answers to the mystery.

But she figured, let Alec think it was only to bring order back to the city.

She didn't like that he was so against her on this, though. Why did he care so much? Normally, he just let her have her way with a session of minor complaints. This time, he was arguing her point by point. His newly adopted devil's advocate approach set her off to no end.

"Distract them with another rumor," Alec continued. "Maybe about their two intrepid leaders having a secret affair," he finished with a suggestive wiggling of his brow.

Max scoffed at the gesture. "Please! The thought of you and I doing _anything _even resembling an affair is even less plausible than the ghost."

"Just kidding, Max!" he insisted somewhat roughly. _Damn! A simple 'Yeah right' would have done the trick. Does she always have to act like I have cooties?_

"Besides," she added, "People aren't talking about this because it's random gossip. It's a love letter… has a way of grabbing your heart and your interests."

Alec decided to bring the conversation back to the ghost, if only to save himself from another awkward moment of staring at a love-struck Max. "So what do we know about this ghost? I mean, who in their right mind came up with that?" he asked.

Max shrugged. "It's a mystery. All I know is the story that's going around. Supposedly, this letter was written years ago, and resurfaced when we disturbed the woman's resting place."

"Wait, who says that a chick wrote this?" Alec asked.

Max frowned at the question she deemed ignorant. "Like any guy is that sensitive," she scoffed. "Trust me. As a woman, I can tell this came from the heart of a female."

Alec raised his brow in question. "'**My heart burns, filled with desire…Thoughts that only you inspire'…**You're telling me a girl wrote that crap?"

Max glared vehemently at him. "Well, what exactly were _you_ picturing?" she demanded.

Alec should have known better than to answer her, but in keeping with his blunt approach to the entire conversation, he thought about it seriously. "If you ask me, there's some lonely loser out there having a nice wet dream right about now over the hot chick he's been stalking."

Max looked to the ceiling in disgust as though seeking salvation. "You are such an idiot," she muttered.

"'**Your picture haunts my memory, All the things I'll never be.'" **Alec quoted to prove his point. "Lonely stalker," he finished, as though that settled it.

Max looked at him with disdain. "You don't need to read it to me! I already know what's written there."

Alec thought that Max was getting far too furious at his disbelief. He was struck with how closely she identified herself with their mystery author, how connected she felt to the paper confessions.

"What, do you write poetry, too, Max?" he asked with a cocky smirk.

Max only deepened her glare. "You really are an idiot. As if I have the time! I'm lucky to make it to the Space Needle and gather my thoughts, let alone write them down in scripted verse."

"But… you have the time to look into this," Alec pointed out her flawed logic.

"Quit arguing this, Alec!" she demanded. "Are you going to help me or not? 'Cuz so far, you've been completely useless!"

"What exactly do you want me to do?" Alec asked.

"I already asked Luke to take your post tonight," Max began.

"Why do I not like where this is heading?" Alec commented.

"We're going to look for the ghost," Max continued as though he hadn't spoken.

"We're gonna play ghostbusters?"

"But first," she continued, again ignoring his comment, "We need to go see Sketchy about borrowing a camera. We're gonna need proof if we see her."

"I thought you didn't believe in ghosts," Alec commented, pointing out her conflicting views. The way she was talking now, it was like she was completely captured in the possibility of the haunting image of a woman wandering around at night from beyond the grave.

Max frowned at him again. "How else are we gonna be able to examine whatever it is? I'm sure we'll see _something_. Probably not a ghost, but this way we'll have something to analyze later.

"I was hoping you could get the camera, and I can stop by Logan's to see about figuring this out," she finished, grabbing the letter back.

Alec frowned grudgingly. "Sure!" he forced excitement. "'Cuz it's not like there's a city to run in the meantime!"

"The city will be fine. Mole's got it covered, and no one's leaving 'til the raid after lunch. That'll give you just enough time to get a camera from Sketchy."

Alec let out a sigh as he realized there really was no getting out of this. It wasn't like he had other plans, but anything had to be better than searching for a nonexistent ghost.

Then again, he couldn't even count the number of times he'd gone into the sewers for this woman.

"Alright," he gave in with a light sigh.

Max grinned appreciatively. Her eyes flickered with excitement at his answer.

The reaction surprised Alec slightly, given that it wasn't as though he had a choice anyway. He was sure that if he'd refused, Max would have ordered him otherwise.

"Great!" Max said. "Tell Sketchy I said hey. And you better be back here for lunch, 'cuz mine's gonna take longer."

Alec nodded. "You sure you're not going to mix business with pleasure?" He wasn't sure that a stop by Logan's was ever just to work on something. Max liked to act like she was over him, but it was clear to Alec that she still had feelings for the guy.

Instead of getting upset by the comment, Max took the opportunity to tease him. She must have been in a really good mood. Who would have thought that a pointless little love note would be all it took to lighten her up?

"Now, Alec," she came back with a grin, "Not _everyone _is as stupid as you. Don't think I've forgotten about Little Suki and Marina."

Alec grinned, being reminded himself. "No… and I haven't forgotten Little Suki or Marina, either."

Max rolled her eyes. "Ass," she mumbled dismissively before she moved to the door.

She turned to say one more thing before leaving. "I'll call you later or something to figure out when we're gonna do this. It should be late enough so everyone's asleep, but I have to double-check what time she appears around."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Midnight, 2 AM 5 in the morning... It's all the same to me. I don't have shark DNA, so I guess I'll get a big cup of keep-me-the-hell-awake while I'm out to see Sketchy."

"I'll get one for you later," Max offered.

Alec's eyes widened in surprise.

"I'll be out longer than you. It'd be stupid to do that before lunch. It'll wear off by dinner in that case. You should wait 'til sundown."

"You're gonna be with Logan until sundown?" Alec asked, not bothering to question why the information didn't rub him the right way. It shouldn't, but the idea that Max was spending her entire day with Logan didn't sit well with Alec.

"No," Max answered. "But you reminded me how long it's been since I went to the Space Needle. I think I'm gonna hit it up after Logan's." A playful grin spread across her face as she finished, "Maybe I'll even write a poem."

Alec's mouth gaped at this. "Who are you, and what have you done with Max?"

Max took a finger to flick the side of his head. "Funny, Alec. Don't worry. Even if I did write a poem, it wouldn't be about you."

"Good," he accepted. "'Cuz I wouldn't want you to _butcher_ me in it."

"No," Max agreed. "Shame, though. I just thought of a title."

"What, 'Ode to Alec'?" he joked.

"'Dick'," she said simply.

She left him to ponder that, leaving as soon as she finished.

Alec shook his head, considering the mystery and the woman that had just blurred out of his office. "Max is more of a mystery than this ghost theory ever could be," he muttered under his breath before grabbing his coat to fulfill his part of the plan.

* * *

**a/n: **agh! I just noticed that fanfic is going to delete the files I have stored!! I might be 'starting' a lot of fics, sorry about that, but I don't have them stored anywhere else and I don't want them to disappear!

ps. the Round Robin is off to a start! hopefully, we'll be posting some of that soon!

oh yes, and thanks for reading this! I'll try to update and not leave this one hanging.


	2. Owner of a Lonely Heart

**a/n**: thank you all for the reviews! this chapter is not so fun, but I think it's necessary, given the pair!

* * *

**Chapter 2: Owner of a Lonely Heart**

Max entered Logan's apartment the usual way- breaking in without knocking first.

She wasn't at all surprised to hear the light tapping of his fingers at his computer. It seemed that Eyes Only was doing some research.

"Hey," she greeted warmly, her heart racing like always when she first laid eyes on him.

"Hey yourself," he said with a light grin, though his eyes looked determined.

"Working on something big?" she guessed casually as she took a seat beside him, careful to keep the right amount of distance between him.

"It's nothing," he said dismissively, but he turned back to his computer to continue typing away in a fury. "Just something for the S1W."

Max's full lips pulled together into a thin line. "Asha," she commented knowingly, trying to keep the tightness out of her voice.

"She asked me for a favor," Logan admitted. "And since she's done so much for Eyes Only lately, I told her I'd put a good word in."

"Well," Max said with a grin, "I guess Eyes Only is a generous guy after all."

"I take it you need something?" Logan gathered, returning her smile.

"You could say that Asha and I that in common," she admitted. "I need some information."

Logan finally finished typing, clicked the send button on the lengthy email and then spun around to give Max his full attention. "Whatcha need?" he asked her, his blue eyes shining into hers.

"It's in your area of expertise," she began mysteriously.

"Corrupt government? Blackmailing? What is it, I'm sure I've got a file somewhere to help you out."

Max laughed lightly at his assumptions. "I'll be requiring another side of that fine personality of yours," she told him.

Logan gave her a blank stare before arching one brow at her. Clearly, he wasn't sure what exactly she was asking of him.

"'**Fear paralyzes my racing heart, Never knowing where to start**'" Max offered, studying him in a hope for recognition.

When her hopes went unrealized, she quickly recovered with a more distant stare in her eyes. "You've dabbled into poetry, haven't you Logan?"

A tension immediately took over Logan's body. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair before clearing his throat once in an attempt to regain his composure. The idea of discussing his more sensitive side had a way of increasing his temperature and raising his defenses.

But the determined look on Max's face told Logan that he couldn't just change the subject on this one. "It's a good outlet sometimes," he admitted awkwardly. It was as much information as he could bring himself to say without more of her prodding.

"This was found at Terminal City," she told him, finally removing the folded letter from her pocket and handing it to him.

His eyes fell onto the page, flowing across it as he took in the rhythmic verse.

"So what do you make of it?" Max asked casually as he finished.

"Wow," he said simply, before becoming aware again that he had an audience. "It's pretty good," he admitted. "Comes off a little… amateur, I suppose. But there's a lot of feeling in this." Suddenly, his face became tense again as a thought came to his mind.

"Did you…," he trailed, unwilling to finish the question out loud.

Max laughed. "I didn't write it. But that's what I'm trying to figure out. Can you tell me how old it is at least?"

Logan stared again at the piece of paper, his eyes narrowing as he studied the page as opposed to the words written on it. "I can't be too sure just by looking…," he thought out loud. "…and this isn't something I have much experience in, but I'd say no more than two years old."

Max felt her spirits sink at the news. "That recent?" she commented in slight shock. With _that _assessment, she found the romantic idea of it being about a timeless love fading quickly. Somehow, the notion that the letter was so recent made the whole thing seem less enchanting.

"Two years," Max repeated blankly, hoping he would elaborate with some explanation or possibility that it was older.

"Well…," Logan trailed as he noted the disappointment he'd just given her. His mind raced to find a reason to contradict himself. "Unless, of course, it's a copy of the original."

Max thought for a minute. The idea was highly unlikely, but she let her hopes come up again anyway. "Find out for me, will ya?" she asked.

Logan nodded, "I'll see what I can come up with. Maybe a friend of a friend would be better at figuring out how old this is."

Max let a real smile brighten her face at that idea. "Thanks," she said with a grin. "But don't keep it _too _long."

Logan grinned back at her. Max had a lighter side that always shocked him when it surfaced. He recalled her sensitivity at a wedding they'd been to together, one of their first dates ever. She may not want to admit it at times, but Max was a true romantic at heart. "If I do," he offered, "I can always write you one to make up for it."

The grin on her face deepened. "You'd do that?" she asked.

Logan swallowed and stiffened a bit when he realized the intensity of what he'd just offered. "Well… I could try…," he trailed.

Max nodded and got out of her chair to hug him.

But as she caught the startled and anxious expression on his face, she stopped herself abruptly. _Oh yeah, _she remembered as reality came crashing back to her. _The virus._

"I'm… such an idiot…," she trailed, a frown taking away the glow that had lit her face.

Logan shook his head. "No you're not, Max. I'm sorry. I forgot, too, for a minute there."

Max nodded, a burning sensation coming to her eyes. "I can't believe how stupid I am," she muttered quietly, anger evident in her tone.

"Hey," Logan interjected, reaching his hand out to grab her arm in comfort.

But as he did so, she backed away, and he found himself feeling like the idiot.

"See?" she said as she increased the space between them.

"Max," he said softly, pulling out a rubber glove.

Max eyed the piece of latex and found the burning sensation filling her eyes. "Forget it," she muttered as she turned to leave and blinked the tears away before he could see them. "I was just heading out."

Logan sighed as she got up to leave and was silent as she neared the door.

"Max," he said finally before she could leave. She turned immediately to face him. "It felt good," he confessed. "To forget."

Max gave him a longing stare before coming to her senses again. "That's just what they want, Logan. They want us to be stupid enough to get close again. Dumb enough to touch so that Eyes Only can finally die." _Along with the man that I love_, she added to herself gloomily.

Her words were cold, but Logan knew it was only out of anger at their situation. It was a topic that they'd been carefully avoiding for a while, but it wrenched at his heart to have reality thrust back into his face.

"Why don't you just 'forget' that you ever met me," Max offered.

His face fell and she didn't wait for whatever words he had to say. Probably something about making it despite everything against them, but for all the hope she'd tried so hard to carry for the letter, she had none left for herself.

She left his apartment and found her heart heavy as she rode to the Space Needle.

---------------------------------------------

The breeze brought a familiar feeling of calm to Max as it whipped around her. It was gentle, but strong enough to take her away from all the drama and fighting of the world below.

Some days, she sat here.

Today, she stood firmly. It gave her a false sense of self-control that she willingly fell into.

Because on the Needle, she could ignore all emotions – sadness, hope, and despair. Here, her mind could truly race without interruption or limitation.

_So what have I been too preoccupied to think about lately? _she began unfamiliarly.

_Funny, Max. You can't seem to shut up half the time, and now that you finally have a minute, a cat's got your tongue._

Max laughed ruefully at the comment. _Cat got more than your tongue, Max. Bitch took the whole damn thing._

Max shook her thoughts away. _Get it together, Max. We've been over the 'genetically engineered killing machine' thing before, got it down, inside and out. That's not what's really bothering you and you know it._

But Max knew it was. Because without the virus pumping through her veins, she wouldn't be standing on top of the tallest building in Seattle, pretending to be a-okay and running from her fear.

_Fear of what?_ she questioned herself for a second before she admitted it.

"Losing him," she whispered into the wind.

Max knew that it was too late. She and Logan had their chance, whether they knew it at the time or not. But it was gone now. They could never be together. Not while Manticore was still around.

And as long as Max and her 'furry little friends' existed, joining together in Terminal City and elsewhere, there would always be a Manticore.

Max finally gave in to the sad truth and slowly bent down to rest upon the cold metal, no more standing tall like she was completely in control.

The fact was, she knew she was slipping, acting weak. The old Max never would've wasted time on figuring out some ridiculous love note that, as Alec so sweetly described was nothing more than a "sappy love poem".

This certainly couldn't have been part of the plan that was etched into her destiny. Surely, Sandeman didn't picture his transgenic leader sitting sidelines on fighting White to spend time ghost-hunting at night.

Max knew the whole thing was pointless. Which only made Alec's unwillingness to help more irritating to her, because deep down, she knew he was right.

But it didn't matter.

Everything with Logan was so screwed up… The life she'd pictured somewhere in her heart wasn't even real enough to dream about anymore.

She knew that she'd never be with Logan ever again.

But that didn't mean that this mystery lover would have to spend all of _her _days wallowing in what should have been. Max would see to it that whoever wrote this note would find their true love. Even if she had to do it beyond the grave.

-------------------------------------------

"Dude!" Sketchy called as Alec was just about to sneak away.

Alec wiped his face clean of disappointment and forced a grin before turning around. Pretending to be blissfully happy wasn't difficult for him; it was so natural that he didn't need to think about it. It was the mask he chose to wear, regardless of what was really going on underneath the happy façade.

"Sketchy!" Alec said cheerily as he grinned at his old friend.

Sketchy looked positively delighted to see his buddy. He had a happiness to his eyes that made Alec feel guilty for trying to escape unseen, a guilt that he kept well-concealed just like the rest of what was bothering him at the moment.

"Man! You are the last person I thought I'd run into today!" Sketchy admitted before throwing his arm around Alec for a quick hug. "I've missed ya, man," he admitted as he withdrew. "We all have."

Alec nodded. "I miss you, too," he admitted.

"Hey! Want to hit up Crash while you're here?" Sketchy asked as the idea came to him.

Alec hesitated before shaking his head. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Sketch. That place is pretty… public," he finished dryly.

"Yeah, but you look…" Sketchy trailed before realizing there was no good way of telling his friend that he could hide who he really was.

Alec saw the guilt in his old friend's eyes. "Don't worry about it, Sketch," he told him with a light smile and slap on the back. "I know you've got my back. It's just… I have responsibilities now, you know."

Sketchy nodded knowingly. "Yeah. You should see the place. Rebuilding, but we're still going strong. It's a bigger mess than it used to be."

Alec laughed as he pictured it. "Normal's probably stressed, huh? Throwing around his 'bip bip'. You should take him to the club- loosen him up a bit."

Sketchy laughed as he recalled the time that the odd trio went out together after work. "Yeah, you could come, too!"

Alec laughed, "Maybe I'll drop in another time. When I have more time. Actually, I'm due back soon. SIC duty."

"Well, it's good to see you, man. Just dropped in to say hi, huh." Sketchy had a smile on his face.

Until his stare fell to the camera in Alec's hand, and the grin faded quickly, replaced by a look of hurt.

The feeling of guilt hit Alec again as he noted the look in his friend's eyes. "Yeah, well the good thing about borrowing is I have to come by to return it." He finished with an encouraging smile.

Sketchy returned it, and Alec was relieved to see the attempt to save himself had worked, at least somewhat.

"Deal," Sketchy accepted. "What do you need that thing for anyway?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "Some… ghost or something. If I find one, you can have the exclusive photos for your paper!"

Sketchy nodded, but didn't smile as Alec had hoped. "I quit that rag, you know," Sketchy admitted to Alec.

The news caught him by surprise and he didn't bother hiding it. "What?" he asked. "What'd you do that for? Too busy fixing up Jam Pony?" he guessed.

Sketchy shook his head. "Nah, dude. After that whole… event… I decided that my talents were better suited for a more humanistic cause."

Alec stared at him blankly.

"I got a job at a real paper! Since I was there on the scene, I gave an exclusive interview, and they liked me so much that they gave me a job."

Alec beamed for his friend. "Sketchy, that's great!"

Sketchy nodded. "Yeah, man. I mean, it's an introductory position, but still. I got my foot in the door."

"Introductory position?"

"I'm… I'm what you might call a… directorial assistant slash secretary slash public relations… etc."

Alec grinned. "You're a gofer?" he realized with a laugh.

"Hey, man," Sketchy defended himself. "It's a start."

Alec nodded in agreement. "Yeah. That it is. I'll be sure to tell Max. She says hi, by the way. Misses you guys, too."

"She said that?" Sketchy asked.

Alec laughed. "Come on, you know Max. She doesn't have to say it. She's too stubborn to, anyway."

Sketchy nodded in agreement. "Well you tell Max that per our agreement, you can only use the camera if you two bring it back together."

Alec nodded with a genuine smile, wishing he'd been just as carefree as this when he'd entered Sketchy's apartment. "You got it," he told his friend before leaving to head back to Terminal City.

---------------------------------------

The ride back to Terminal City was a lot heavier than the one leaving it earlier that morning.

_Way to go, jackass, _Alec told himself as the world whipped by him while he sped back to his home.

He had never meant to hurt Sketchy, someone who'd always been a good friend to him.

It was that feeling in the pit of his stomach. He usually had better control over it, but days like this…

He couldn't keep it entirely bottled up.

It was wrenching at him, and the fact that it hurt made him want that much more to just be left alone. He didn't feel like facing anyone until he could control it enough to face the world with his usual carefree, confident façade.

His mind recalled distantly a memory of another time he'd felt like this.

Too bad that anyone with a bar code was likely to get arrested if they entered a bar these days.

Drinks at Crash with a nameless blonde seemed like the perfect way to pretend that he didn't care.

The only problem was he was beyond that at this point. He couldn't even fool himself into thinking he didn't care, let alone some stranger at a bar.

He breezed by the perimeter, noting the lack of action from the sector police. They didn't seem to mind anyone going in. It was whenever the transgenics tried to leave that they ran into a problem.

Alec shut off his bike and hopped off with a heavy stomp. He tried to quit thinking about it, about her.

Amazing how she was now capable of ruining his day without even being a part of it.

But that was the problem. She was a part of him now, someone he carried more than loyalty for.

He wasn't sure at what point he'd realized that her happiness meant more to him than his own. All he knew was that the woman he cared for more than anyone else was at this very moment wallowing in her misery, feeding the pain by visiting the only man that she'd ever given her heart to.

She would only be happy with Logan. And they couldn't be together.

Which meant she would never be happy. Alec would never be able to give her the one thing he wanted to more than anything in the world.

_Well, at least I can give her Sketchy's camera!_ he joked sarcastically to himself.

"Max back yet?" he asked one of the transgenics guarding the fence from the inside. Why he was asking, he didn't know. He already knew the answer. The feeling in the pit of his stomach remained. He knew she was still with Logan.

"No, sir," the tall blonde man answered in military fashion.

"Grady," Alec said, shaking his head, "how many times do I have to tell you? We're not back at Manticore. You don't have to call me 'sir'"

"Yes, sir," Grady accepted.

Alec rolled his eyes before heading further into the city.

* * *

a/n: thanks for reading! 


	3. That Lovin' Feelin'

**a/n**: thanks everyone for your reviews! Sorry that I didn't get the chance to respond from last chapter. I'll be sure to this time...

* * *

**Chapter 3: That Lovin' Feelin'**

Max didn't notice the sun starting to set as she sat deep in thought. She'd long abandoned trying to sort through her feelings. She knew exactly what she wanted, and she also knew that she'd never have it.

She had briefly attempted to put her thoughts into words and a matching rhythm. But she couldn't come up with anything that sounded right, and so resigned to recalling the insightful words that a friend of hers had once said.

"Love sucks," she spoke apathetically into the darkness.

She could just hear Joshua now. 'No Frost in your cocktail?' Manticore must not have found much use in having a talented writer on their side. Probably wouldn't have been much use to have messages come across in iambic pentameter.

A shift in the wind told Max that she wasn't alone anymore. She snapped her head around to catch the set of spying eyes, not that she needed to. No one else would bother coming up here, least of all know about her special place.

In the quick movement, she'd unknowingly thrust her head inches from his, a sight that caused her to narrow her brown eyes into a slight glare. He was smirking, as usual, and she noticed, to her annoyance, that his other trademark was present; his green eyes twinkled with a golden glint of mischief.

Or was it amusement this time? Maybe he found something entertaining in the way he always succeeded in pushing her buttons. He didn't even need to speak anymore to get underneath her skin; his mere presence brought a small fire racing through her that didn't settle, even in his absence. Mere thoughts of him had a way of setting her off.

And they kept finding their way into her mind, creeping in despite her concern for something else. Even just that day, she'd come atop the Needle thinking of Logan. Yet somehow, thoughts of her cursed relationship had been interrupted with flashes of the annoyance that came with Alec, like a slap across the face.

And here it was again, the sting of being ripped from her concentration. She was sitting atop cold metal, feeling her worst, and especially vulnerable, and he had the nerve to come uninvited, bearing that ever-present smirk of his.

Some days she felt she'd do anything to remove it from his face.

In an instant, a memory flashed through her mind. There had been a time before that she'd seen his face without his signature smirk. She'd even found herself missing it, though she wouldn't admit it.

There was certainly a darkness hiding underneath his carefree façade. One that she understood entirely, without having his confidence.

There was a wordless bond between the two that she couldn't deny. She'd found herself clinging to it without realizing, depending on his predictable reactions.

He'd been honest with her before. Sometimes, he couldn't help it, it slipped through, his true self. Other times, he let it out deliberately.

Today, the cocky grin looked like a lie to her. In spite of her own problems, she found herself wondering what could have happened to make him pull some of his trust away from her within the past few hours.

When his lips parted, she expected a cheap dig at her, some immature insult that she was fully prepared to either deny, come back to, or respond with a slap across his face.

But instead, he eased all the tension by taking her mind away from all the questions and feelings racing through her.

"You forgot the coffee," he chided her to break the silence.

Instead of her lips curling downward into a frown as anticipated, she found herself cracking a light smile. Her most vulnerable, and he was letting her slide. At least for now. Maybe he wasn't ready, either.

She quickly recovered, raising a brow at him. "Coffee?" she repeated doubtfully. "That's what brings you here?"

"I didn't say that," he answered casually as he took a seat beside her. He made a 'tsk tsk' noise before teasing her a bit more, "Can't even remember small tasks now, Maxie? I guess a cup of coffee is a little too much to expect out of you these days, huh?"

Max rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. How he had managed to go from setting her off to making her smile within an instant was beyond her.

A month or two ago, and she would still be holding anger for him.

But something had changed recently. She found herself looking more, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

It was that night, and she knew it. Everything had changed then. She didn't know at the time, but a veil had truly been lifted from her eyes on that day.

She only knew afterwards that it was because she couldn't forgive herself. But when she'd opened up to him about Ben, he didn't look at her like she was a monster. He didn't tell her what she should have done better or judge her.

In fact, he'd apologized. He'd offered her complete understanding, and a shoulder to lean on. He didn't need to forgive her, because he'd never held it against her.

But because of him, she was able to forgive herself.

And so now, she was able to look at him beyond the mask he put on. She was past beginning to understand him, and his smirk wasn't a good shield against her anymore.

It wasn't that something was wrong. In fact, she was fairly confident that, as usual, he was just fine.

But she didn't get the chance to study him more to find out what was bothering him. She used to be irritated by his cocky attitude. But right now, it was his silence and walls that were irritating her, and she found herself putting up her own defenses in response.

"And a little privacy is too much to expect of you, I see," she snapped at him.

Alec laughed at her rudeness. "I'm sorry. Am I interrupting your time of reflection? Please tell me that your time up here helped you to realize that this whole ghost-hunting idea of yours is completely absurd and you've decided to get back to beating up Familiars instead."

Max finally did allow herself to frown at him. "You're not getting out of the plan that easily, Alec. But an ass-kicking sounds really good right about now."

"Then it's settled!" Alec said decisively as he stood up.

"Are you volunteering?" Max snapped.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"You must be," she concluded. "Why else would you come up here to bother me?"

This time, he only half-smirked. "So do you still want me to help with this ghost-hunt? Or would that be _bothering _you too much?"

"_Why _are you so against this?" Max asked him seriously. "Logan doesn't mind looking into this for me."

"_Logan_," Alec mumbled dryly.

Max was only more confused by his reaction. Alec had always gotten along well enough with Logan. "What is your deal?" she asked.

Alec must have known that his attitude was truly confusing her, because almost instantly, he let go of the anger he seemed to be carrying. "Sorry," he muttered. "Seeing Sketchy… you know, we still can't go and buy a beer without getting arrested."

Max was relieved to hear his problem wasn't such a mystery to her. The bitterness that came with being on the 'outside' was something they all went through from time to time. Her tension immediately left and her tone softened at his confession. "Sorry," she offered. "I didn't even think about that when I asked you-"

"It's fine," he cut her off. Then he took the chance to change the subject. "But I'm not gonna let go of that coffee so easily," he said with a slight grin.

Max rolled her eyes. "I was gonna pick one up on the way back," she told him.

"Which was… tomorrow?" he asked. "Wait, does this mean you gave up?"

"You know, you're gonna feel pretty pathetic for all this when we _see _the ghost tonight," Max said confidently, walking away.

Alec laughed and walked along side her, matching her stride. "Yeah, that or you'll finally admit that you should listen to me when you find out I was right all along- that there's no such thing as ghosts."

Max cocked a brow. "Is that a challenge?" she asked with a light grin.

"No, babe. That's a bet," he told her.

Max quickly swatted the top of his head. "Don't call me 'babe'."

Alec rubbed his hair dramatically. "You know, some girls would give anything to hear that from me-"

"That reminds me…," Max mumbled as he finished, and Alec felt another blow, this one to the side of his head.

"Ow!" he whimpered in a quiet, overly dramatic voice. "And what was that for?" he asked.

"Don't call me 'Maxie'," she said simply.

"What about 'bitch'?" he asked.

His answer was another slap.

------------------------------------------------------

Alec raised his lips from the cup after taking the last sip. "So how'd it go at Logan's?" he couldn't help asking.

Max swallowed, instinctively hiding the truth from him, how hurt she was by the whole thing. "He figures it's less than 2 years old," she answered, sticking to business.

"He knows that just by looking?" Alec said doubtfully, the amused look on his face showing clearly his objection to putting that much faith in an assessment of Logan's.

"He said he wasn't sure," Max barely offered, letting out an annoyed sigh. She hadn't anticipated having to report every single detail back to him.

The truth was, she was putting up a defense. Talking about Logan and what happened at his apartment took her back to the hurt feelings that still lingered inside of her given how they'd- _she'd_- left things. Walking away was the easy part, and shedding a few tears wasn't so bad. But having to live with her decision and guilt? Max just wasn't ready to open up about what really happened at the Penthouse that day.

It was much easier to go off on Alec than to admit how hurt she really was. She knew it was wrong, that she ought to step up and own her mistakes. But being able to jump 15 feet of razor wire and taking out a 250 pound linebacker with her thumb and index finger had done nothing for her inner strength.

She'd handled much worse before, of course. But that was her family, something that had never come easy. Logan had always been the one constant for her, her brief escape from a screwed up life. But now, they'd found a way to take that from her, too.

Alec's voice interrupted her from her sad thoughts, which should have relieved her, but instead, his nonchalant attitude was an easy target for her anger. "So about how accurate would you say his guess is… on a scale of 1 to 10?" he asked.

Max rolled her eyes and stopped abruptly, turned her head and flashed him a glare, as if daring him to ask one more question. "He's _not _positive. He's checking it out. Anything else?"

"So… about a 5 then, huh?"

His only answer was another glare followed by Max quickly turning around and continuing on their walk, her steps heavier than before.

Alec laughed at how quickly she could be angered. "Anyone ever tell you to lighten up?"

"Anyone ever tell you to shut up?" she snapped back. "What is this sudden interest in everything, Alec? I thought you couldn't care less about this whole thing. Did you suddenly become a romantic?"

Alec laughed. "Yeah right," he dismissed. "I'm bored, okay. Trying to find some way this could be just a _little bit_ entertaining. What I'd really like to be doing on a Friday night-"

"-Is something I'd rather not hear out loud," Max interrupted to silence the innuendo before it came out.

"What?" Alec asked innocently. "I was just gonna say how fun it would be to help little children, or visit an orphanage."

Max scoffed at his dry sarcasm. "Too bad for the little children that tonight, we're going ghost-hunting." She stopped again, but this time it was intentional. She couldn't help grinning as she considered what lay ahead. She cocked her head at him, a smile set across her face. "Ready?"

Alec looked around and then back at her like she must be lost. "Ready for what? We're in the middle of nowhere."

"This is the spot. I don't know about you, but I've never done this sort of thing before."

"Followed a wild goose chase?"

Max went on as though he hadn't spoken. "Searched for a ghost. I guess we should start with a sighting, don't you think?"

Alec's eyes widened. "And then what? Talk the spirit into passing on?"

Max frowned at him. "Just shut up and find us a spot to survey from."

Alec lifted his head again and scanned the surrounding area for a good hiding spot. His eyes rested upon a nearby decrepit-looking shed that looked about as appealing as spending a couple hours in a dark, narrow, and cramped closet. The wood looked like it was decaying, and with his transgenic vision, he could see the cobwebs even in the night.

As he didn't see anything else, he let out a quiet groan before looking at Max and nodding toward the place. "See that?" Taking a second look with her, he reconsidered his initial thoughts. He'd take the closet over the dirty shed any day of the week.

Max looked it over and made a pouty face for a brief instant before accepting it was their only option. She made a motion to move toward it before stopping suddenly, a thought coming to her. "You brought the camera, right?" Max asked him, staring at him hopefully, her brown eyes dancing with slight panic.

Alec shook his head at her, feigning disappointment. "I'm a soldier, Max." He pulled it out with a cocky grin. "Always prepared."

Max returned to the path, rolling her eyes. "In that case, you made sure it had film already."

Alec's smile faltered and became more uneasy than confident. He gave her an innocent stare and then shrugged. "Well…" he started.

"You idiot!" Max said, snatching the camera away from him.

Suddenly, Alec found himself face to face with the camera lens, a flash momentarily blinding him.

At hearing the winding sound of the camera and noticing the number of pictures left move one down to '8', Max grinned, realizing that there was still film left. She smirked at Alec, who still looked like a deer in the headlights. "I guess that answers our question," she said simply.

Alec opened his mouth at her, about to protest her disregard for his delicate senses, but found he couldn't resist the chance to make a snide remark. "Did you get my good side?"

Max answered him by delivering a playful punch to his shoulder. "You don't have a good side," she teased him.

"Yeah, cuz that implies one is better than the other, when we all know that-"

"You're completely full of yourself," Max finished for him.

Alec stared at her with a wry smile. "Max, that hurts."

Max shrugged. "Truth always does."

Alec smiled slyly as he answered, "See, but the _real _truth is-"

The words died on his lips and his grin faded as he noticed that they were now standing right outside the shed.

"You'll have to get back to me on all that big, bad, truth, cuz we're here!" Max said.

Alec let out a fake laugh followed by a weak smile.

"Ready?" Max said, holding the door open for him with a grin that looked too deep to Alec to be natural.

Alec shook his head, putting on the face of a true gentleman. "You know what they say, Max." He held his hand out toward the inside, motioning for her to enter. "Ladies first," he said, flashing a matching wide-set grin.

Max cocked her head, annoyed. "Just get in the shed," she ordered, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him inside.

----------------------------------------------------------

"What I'd like to know, is where are the other transgenics? The ones that supposedly have seen this stupid thing?" Alec complained.

Max rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time, but didn't move her stare from focusing on the designated spot. "Just be quiet and keep the camera ready."

Alec looked at her in disbelief. "You _still _think we're gonna see something? Max, we've been in here for _an hour_! Wasn't she supposed to have already come by now?"

When Max didn't answer in a failed attempt to ignore him, he continued. "Well, I guess she could be busy writing another love poem." he finished with a mocking smirk.

As expected, this inspired a response from Max. "Listen, you idiot! No more joking around. This is serious."

Alec let out a groan before mumbling, "It _always _is with you." When her focus still didn't flinch, Alec resorted to complaining some more. "Max, I'm bored."

Instead of sympathizing as he didn't expect but was sincerely hoping for, Max rolled her eyes. "Well, too bad for poor Alec. Cuz entertaining you isn't in my job description."

"Yeah, well, neither is chasing ghost theories or other impossible assignments."

"You never know," Max argued, taking a moment to look down at the blank skin where runes had once been. They'd disappeared just as suddenly as they'd come, and the best she and Logan could do was guess at their meaning. "Maybe my next assignment from Sandeman will be expelling demons."

Alec barely caught the sarcasm because not all of Max was joking. He could tell that somehow, either in his words or her thoughts, a nerve had been struck and now she was slipping in her confidence.

"Max, what is it?" Alec asked, truly concerned.

"Still nothing, so keep that mouth of yours _shut _until we see something."

Alec swallowed as he tried to think of another approach. Getting Max to open up wasn't exactly easy. It was more like pulling teeth with a set of tweezers. "Is it all that 'destiny' stuff? 'Transgenic savior'?"

When Max's only response was a faltering sigh, he continued. "You know, you're not alone in this, Max. We're all backing you up, even though we don't understand it, either. Mole, Luke, Dix, …me." He chanced studying her to see if that elicited some sort of reaction.

She didn't look quite as tense, but the worry didn't leave her face. "It's not that," she finally admitted. "It's just… something happened earlier today."

"At Logan's?" Alec guessed, his concern building. Logan was the one thing he could do nothing for her to make it better.

Max turned to face him as she confessed. "It's nothing new, I mean, everyone's been avoiding it all along, but I just can't do it anymore, Alec."

Alec couldn't tell what she meant by the comment. She couldn't… pretend the virus wasn't really there? …avoid Logan anymore? "What can't you do?" Alec asked her. "'Cuz there's not a whole lot I know of that you can't do. Well, maybe poetry isn't your thing." He finished with a comforting smile.

Max allowed the seriousness to settle a bit, and shoved him lightly. "Yeah, well I bet you're not so great, either."

Alec considered it before shrugging. "I don't know. Can't say I have much to inspire me."

Max rolled her eyes that were slightly misted. "I wonder what it would take. Probably a pair? Of blondes?"

Alec laughed at her cheap dig. "That used to inspire something else, I'll give you that. But I don't know about that anymore."

Max nodded, studying him instead of herself. "You don't know? Or you can't admit it yet?"

Alec answered her with a vulnerable stare, his green eyes wide and intensified with a worry. _Does she know?_ Max didn't hear the words, but his eyes were asking loud and clear, which brought a question to her mind. _Know what?_

Just a second, and then it was gone. Alec smirked at her with all of his restored confidence. "Let's not analyze me, Max. Besides, you were gonna tell me your current weakness. Chocolate? Soap operas? Alec?" He gave a hopeful grin and his brow wiggled suggestively.

Max swallowed as the pain took her again. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them, a tear slid down her bronze cheek. "I can't run," she admitted before her brow furrowed and she shut her eyes again.

Alec couldn't bear to see her in so much pain. He reached out a hand toward her cheek and stroked it gently with his thumb. "Hey," he spoke softly, calling her to open her eyes.

She did, and he found himself staring into watery brown pools that weren't hiding her sorrow. She shook once, the emotion ready to burst, and he guided her to fall into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her to comfort her.

It wasn't exactly a breakdown, in that she didn't do much crying, but just feeling the heat of another person surrounding her, human touch that had been taken from her for so long… The way their bodies melded together into one form…

And she could smell it. Pheromones. There was desire swirling together, so strong and sudden that she couldn't tell who it was coming from, nor did she care. She lifted her head to stare into his eyes, questioning whether she was only imagining everything.

But it was there. The hazel set was wide, dilated in desire.

Max blinked, shocked and pleased at once, and then shocked again at being pleased to see that Alec wanted her. Her heart rate picked up under his stare. His sparkling eyes were only for her.

Max lost herself in his stare for a bit before her own gaze drifted toward his lips. They were parted slightly, and they looked soft and firm. Max found herself wanting to find out what they tasted like…

She stopped herself from leaning into him with a jolt. Her heart now raced with building fear. What was happening?

Alec suddenly shifted a little, stood a little straighter. Through the haze clouding Max's mind, she finally noticed that his eyes no longer held hers. He was looking over her shoulder with a concerned expression.

"Max," he said in an urgent whisper, "the ghost!"

* * *

**a/n**: thanks for reading! I know, not the best cliffie! I'll try not to make you wait long! 


End file.
